


I Can't Be

by QueenoftheHobbits



Series: Soft Thighs Series [92]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, overweight reader, plus size reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-01 03:17:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10179464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenoftheHobbits/pseuds/QueenoftheHobbits
Summary: Soulmate AU: Soulmates are terrifying





	

Soulmates terrify you, they always had. It wasn’t the idea of having someone who you were drawn to, who would be beside you always, who would care for you so incredibly deeply that scared you...it was the prospect that they wouldn’t want you.

You’d seen what it did to some people, how the rejection almost literally killed them. How that bond was severed so sharply, so harshly that the pain appeared unbearable. You were terrified that the day you found your soulmate, the day all those supposed feelings rushed into you, that they would see you and decide they didn’t want you no matter how much you wanted them or how much they were going to hurt you. 

You weren’t the most confident of people, you saw yourself in the mirror and you couldn’t understand how anyone would love you, be attracted to you. You were soft in the stomach, your thighs were too large, your arms too, your face was too plump, your hips too wide...every little thing seemed wrong in some way to you and you couldn’t imagine a stranger seeing you for the first time and wanting to be your soulmate, needing to be your soulmate. 

Bucky Barnes didn’t think he had a soulmate after 70 years, at nearly a century old surely his soulmate had died 20 years ago. He didn’t know how the soulmate thing worked in his case, in Steve’s case, no one had ever been brought out of time before, been kept in their twenties for decades. But he doubted he had a soulmate and if he did...would they even want him? He was a shell of the man he once was, he struggled with nightmares, with PTSD, with anxiety. He had a metal arm, he had scars all over his body, he could wake in a violent panic....he wasn’t perfect and he wasn’t right for someone as far as he was aware. It was probably better if he didn’t have a soulmate. 

That all changed the moment he saw you. 

Panic overrode the feeling of joy, the draw, the warmth in your chest, the sudden brightness of the world. All those feelings that you were told would happen, all those things that you didn’t want to happen because he was beautiful standing there wide eyed staring at you and you just weren’t. You wanted to run, but you couldn’t, that part of you that recognised your soulmate, that was glad to have found him wouldn’t let you.

“Hi, Soulmate” Even his voice was beautiful, deep, warm, a rumble that could put you to sleep at night.

You take a deep breath, wrap your arms tightly around yourself and speak, “I...understand if you don’t want me.” You can see the confusion clouding his eyes, the question as to why you’d suggest such a thing but you couldn’t get over the thought that he deserved better, that he’d want better. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Bucky couldn’t really understand what you were saying, there was that delighted feeling of finding you, that wonder at you, how kind you looked, how sweet...and then you were questioning your bond? He didn’t know what was happening, was this supposed to happen? 

“Look at me...i’m not exactly the most beautiful soulmate...” You gestured to yourself, to your wide hips, to the roundness of your stomach, and then to the people who walked past, lithe, lean, perfect examples of human beings as far as you were concerned.

“I think you’re the most beautiful soulmate I could have asked for...” He takes a step forward, he’s not entirely sure if you’ll let him get closer but you don’t step back when he’s a few inches from you, his hand guiding a strand of hair behind your ear. “You’re my soulmate...you deserve better than me...” You could sense that there was things he’d gone through, things he’d seen, that he wasn’t your ordinary person...that he wasn’t the only person who was scared about this.

“I think you’re...more than I deserve...” You’re slowly relaxing, not once has he looked at you with disgust, not once has he shied away from being near you and in that moment you begin to feel that safety you knew you should feel around this man...and you wanted him to feel that too.

“Soulmates?”

“Soulmates.” It’s a declaration that you’re not going to run, that you’re not rejecting him and vice versa...that you’re going to give this a shot and hope that this warm feeling grows and stays...hope that your soulmate is truly the person you need most in the world.


End file.
